Did you get my message? Did it send? Or did you just get on with your life ?

Do you still remember all the things about us? All the silly, useless, even the tiniest things that we did, ideas that we shared, words that got jumbled out from our mouth? Do you still remember how we first met? What we thought about each other back then and what was the first words that came out? Do you still remember when the first time you felt the butterflies on your tummy when we fell in love so quickly, that it hurts even by now when you go through the black and white flashback? Do you still remember the sleepless nights thanks to our countless messages back and forth, simply asking about the day, the weather, and anything around? Do you still remember things that I love and I hate? Do you still remember the broken promises? Do you still remember our songs? Our first date? Our inside jokes? Our dreams and wishes that crushed by time?

Do you still the remember those happy days when we love each other?
Because I do. I still do.





*hasil meng-copy* *nyengir*

I still love you afterall, i still want you afterall, will you keep me afterall, please don't leave me afterall...

I was gripped with a bit of fear, worried the one thing that I Loved..

This wont be easy to tell.

"...but if you want me gone, there are kinder ways to say, so long than spitting in my face.."

The universe keeps giving me signals that I'm no longer useful. That the universe and everything inside it just wish that I don't exist at all. That no one wants me to stay and everything else.

"...if I’m wrong then dust me off and put me in my place, but drop a bomb, shall you blow me away without even a trace? I’ll be gone and I won’t give chase.."

What would you do when you have the urge to leave even if you know you'd lose everything you've been fighting for? You know that the hard works that you've done are not easy cakes, yet you'd leave it all to, leave.

"...cause when you’re in pieces, you pick up the bits, and nothing fits, and the wind blows you away.."

Because even if I don''t have any strong reasons to leave, I don't even have any reason at all to stay. No one wants me to stay. Nothing convinces me to stay.

I'd rather leave it all.

I can stand just as much hate vibes. But I can't stand this at all.

"...i pray there will come a day when you think of me and smile..."

Because I already have thousands of people to push me away, making me feel like I'm not needed. I already have those people to tell me that I don't fit in. I alread have those people to tell me that I don't belong.

And if I have to stay just to see more people doing it to me, than I can only take it so far before I killed each part of me for days and stop completely.

"...these days everything seems to last only a while..."

Because I am that weak.






"...I was scratching at my skin, hoping changes would begin..."
"...I feel so tired as though I might not wake at all on the other side..."
"...that's no way to go..."
"...cut out my lonely heart and bury it in the snow..."
"...nothing really means nothing is the saddest thing I know..."
"...and in the morning there'll be hope and in the morning there'll be light..."
"...come on in, I'll be born again born again as someone else, someone kinder, someone surer, someone beautiful, someone purer..."
 "...will salvation come and wash away my pain?..."

Because there are tons of blanks waiting for words to fill them in. Because there are things that people don't know. Because there is more to this than meets the eye.

Things that you and thousands of other people might see as something really shallow.

And yet people won't understand no matter how much you've tried to explain.

Because I can take nothing more than this.

Now, don't I have all the reasons not to stay?






All quotes from Flakes & Someone Purer by Mystery Jets. On the unrelated note, I was devastated when I found out that Kai Fish, the bassist, my favorite member, quits the band. It was heartbreaking. Wishing the best for Mystery Jets & Kai Fish, both will still be loved truly.